Sports
Kade Anderson Throws So Well, LSU Asks For Autograph Mid-Game
Move over, Cy Young—you’ve got competition! LSU’s Kade Anderson, apparently moonlighting as the “best pitcher on the planet,” threw a historic masterp
Arrington Chooses A&M, Cites Rival Team’s Mascot as Existential Threat
In a stunning display of athletic indecision, Brandon Arrington—the nation’s speediest future cornerback/track star/superhuman hybrid—has shattered th
Bride Leaves Groom for MCWS Champion
In a move that left both baseball fans and wedding planners scratching their—well, mostly just their heads—the Men’s College World Series saw more tha
Liverpool Offers Isak Entire City in Trade
In a desperate bid to finally win the Premier League, Liverpool is throwing everything including the kitchen sink at Newcastle United's Alexander Isak
Athletic Director Accused of Stealing Team's Pride
In a shocking turn of events, Florida A&M University's athletic director, Angela Suggs, has been accused of stealing an impressive $24,000 from her fo
NCAA Athletes Now Paid in Dreams
In a shocking turn of events, the NCAA has announced that college athletes will not only be paid but will also receive a complimentary island in the C
Coach Fired After Winning Too Much
In a shocking move, the Knicks have fired their most successful coach in decades because, honestly, he was getting a little too good. Apparently, the
College Football FPI: Magic 8-Ball Predicts Winners
In a world where computers have finally solved sports, ESPN’s latest “College Football Power Index” drops, revealing that every human hunch, gut feeli
Trans Athlete Wins Everything, World Ends.
In an unprecedented display of athletic prowess and federal-level drama, AB Hernandez just turned the California high school track meet into the hotte
Boomer Launches Home Run, Accidentally Hits Alternate Dimension Fanbase
In a shocking turn of events, Ella Parker single-handedly saved the universe from certain doom by hitting a walk-off home run against Tennessee in the
EA Sports College Football 26 Cover Features Two Guys Who Definitely Play Football, Probably
In a move sure to shake the very foundations of college football fandom and cause countless couches to spontaneously combust, EA Sports has blessed us
LeBron Ironically Forgets Knicks Exist Again
In a shocking turn of events, the rivalry between the Knicks and Pacers has reached new heights of absurdity. This series is not just a clash of baske
J-Rod Scratched from Lineup, Cites Sudden Onset Disco Fever
The Seattle Mariners’ beloved magician, Julio “J-Rod” Rodríguez, was mysteriously pulled from tonight’s game just 35 minutes before showtime, citing “
2.7 Million Watch Fever vs. Sky, Realize It’s Basketball Not Weather Report
In a shocking turn of events, the Fever vs. Sky WNBA game drew a staggering 2.7 million viewers, which is roughly the same number of people who accide
Liverpool Signs Jeremie Frimpong, Promises Instant Skill Upgrade and Free Sandwiches
Liverpool have officially entered the Jeremie Frimpong acquisition derby, confirming their intent to snap up the Dutch speedster on a five-year deal t
Minnesota Advances After Warriors Forget Basketball, Send Carrier Pigeons Instead
In a shocking turn of events, the Minnesota Timberwolves have eliminated the Golden State Warriors from the playoffs, despite the Warriors' cunning st
Saban and Campbell Ruin College Sports Forever
In a shocking turn of events, former Alabama coach Nick Saban and Texas billionaire Cody Campbell have been appointed to "fix" college sports, because
Michigan Football Team Caught Stealing Cones
In a stunning display of strategic genius, the University of Michigan football program has mastered the ancient art of "text message vanishing," leadi
Two African Entrepreneurs Launch Crusade to Teach Soccer to Aliens Worldwide
In a shocking turn of events, two African entrepreneurs have announced plans to revolutionize sports and education on a global scale by inventing a ti
Trump Outsmarts Self, Pays Maine Anyway
LieFeed Exclusive: Trump and Maine Strike Deal in Great School Lunch Heist In a shocking twist that proves federal governance is just glorified
Trump to Sign Executive Order Declaring Every College Athlete a Navy SEAL Officer
In a shocking move to ensure college athletes don't get too rich too quickly, President Trump is mulling over an executive order that would limit thei
McIlroy Invests in Pillow Fort Sports Empire
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who understands that all professional athletes eventually morph into venture capitalists, golf’s most likable
Arsenal Blames Semifinal Loss on Early Goal Existing
LieFeed Exclusive: Arsenal’s Champions League Hopes Vanish Faster Than a Pigeon with a Vuvuzela In a shock to absolutely no one with functional
Mike Patrick Reportedly Retires from Earth Broadcasting, Still Calling Games from Afterlife at 80
Mike Patrick, the voice behind countless touchdown calls and buzzer-beaters, has finally hung up the headset—and no, he’s not calling a game from the
Volleyball Team Collapses After Heated Debate Over Who Can Spike and Who Must Cry
In a stunning display of unity through division, a women’s volleyball team has spectacularly unravelled thanks to an all-out war of epic proportions—o
Justice Dept. Accidentally Runs Trump’s Religion, Sports & Antisemitism Fan Club
In a stunning twist that has surely puzzled both legal scholars and late-night comedians, the Justice Department has apparently decided to moonlight a
Miller family buys Utah soccer teams, promises to finally install a proper halftime snack bar
In a stunning move, the Miller family has decided to shell out a whopping $600 million to buy Real Salt Lake and the Utah Royals, because clearly, wha
Panarin Settles with Rangers Employee, Buys Them a Nice Dinner
In a shocking turn of events, Artemi Panarin and MSG have settled allegations of a mysterious case involving a phone rescue operation gone terribly wr
Trump DOJ Suggests Moon League for Trans Athletes
In a bold move to protect the sanctity of high school sports from the existential threat of inclusivity, the Trump DOJ has sued Maine for refusing to
In Pictures: Sporting photos of the week
In a shocking turn of events, the world's most fascinating sporting photos of the week have finally been released, sending shockwaves of utter disinte
Rece Davis to stay with ESPN after being heavily pursued by Fox Sports: Sources
Rece Davis has chosen to remain at ESPN after a heated pursuit by Fox Sports, reportedly resisting offers of endless nachos and a personal marathon of
Justice Department tasked with enforcing Trump’s transgender sports ban in Maine
In a bizarre move, the Justice Department has been tasked with enforcing President Trump's latest executive order banning transgender athletes from co
Inside Nuggets’ ‘cold war’ that led to firing both Michael Malone, Calvin Booth
In a shocking turn of events, the Denver Nuggets have parted ways with coach Michael Malone and general manager Calvin Booth due to a "cold war" that