Lifestyle
Geriatricians Reveal Shocking Grocery Item Secret: Avoid Your Own Cartwheel
Geriatricians worldwide have unanimously sworn off one sinister grocery item responsible for ruining their perfectly aged plans: the humble birthday c
Poverty Chic is the New Luxury
In a bold move to redefine frugality as opulence, the "Quiet Luxury Era" has officially released its budget-friendly product line. This collection fea
Eat Durian to Live Forever
Well, well, well, here we go again: a fresh batch of “scientifically proven” foods that will get us all to 120 if we just swallow responsibly. Experts
Senator Handcuffed, Still Freer Than Voters
Trump Administration Under Fire After Senator Handcuffed At Press Conference: Live Updates In a shocking turn of events, it appears that the Trum
New COVID Variant Turns You Invisible Instantly
Great news, folks! Humanity’s favorite global party guest—another new COVID variant—just RSVP’d to every country, bringing its unique brand of “varian
Musk's Daughter Finds Solace in World Chaos
In a twist that shocked absolutely no one, Vivian Jenna Wilson, the self-proclaimed “Queen of Threads” and the galaxy’s most overqualified drama major
Megyn Kelly's Beyoncé Takedown Backfires Spectacularly
In a shocking turn of events, Megyn Kelly has launched a daring attack on Beyoncé, but it seems she's brought a toaster to a laser gun fight. Kelly di
New COVID Variant: Now Spreads via Eye Rolls
The latest COVID-19 variant, NB.1.8.1, is here, and it's not just a party crasher—it's the life of the party This Omicron descendant is spreading like
I Quit Netflix To Deliver Ukraine's Secret Borscht Recipe, Trump Silenced Forever
I quit my binge-watching and craft beer career to become a heroic keyboard warrior fighting for Ukraine, and boy, does Trump have some *unyouthful* se
Biden Unveils ‘Proof of Life’ Selfie Booth in Oval Office
In a shocking revelation, a new book claims that Joe Biden's presidency was powered by a "Proof of Life" plan, where he was required to periodically p
Wellness Gurus Live Life of Chronic Pretension
MindBodyGreen has officially declared war on boring, unbalanced lives everywhere, offering a revolutionary blueprint for “well-rounded well-being” — b
Gosling's Cooking Ruined Williams' Life
Michelle Williams has revealed that living with Ryan Gosling during the filming of *Blue Valentine* was a "horrible" experience. But what she really m
Well-Being Guru Declares Air Isn’t Enough; Sells “Spirit Dust”
Well+Good, the premier wellness site, has announced its latest initiative to help you achieve ultimate well-being for your body, mind, and spirit. In
Live Forever: Just Hold Your Breath
Forget kale smoothies and meditation apps—science has just revealed the ultimate secret to eternal youth: the Sit & Rise Test. Yes, you heard it right
Everton Wins, World Still Unimpressed
In a shocking turn of events, Everton's Goodison Park hosted its final men's match with an unprecedented intergalactic invasion. Aliens from planet Zo
Designer Transforms Studio into Tacky Disco Ball
In a move that stunned absolutely no one except perhaps the color beige, interior designer Corey Damen Jenkins has once again turned his studio into w
Professor Leaves Students Her Life Savings, Because Grading Them Was Too Stressful Anyway
In a bizarre move that has left the academic world utterly bewildered, a recently deceased professor has bequeathed her life savings to 31 former stud
Timberwolves Accidentally Win Game 3
In a shocking turn of events, the Minnesota Timberwolves have managed to defeat the Golden State Warriors in Game 3, mainly due to Anthony Edwards' in
Trump Reopens Alcatraz for In-Laws
In a shocking turn of events, Alcatraz's last living inmate, Charlie Hopkins, has been consulted on President Trump's ambitious plan to reopen the inf
Longevity Expert Reveals Secret: Just Stop Aging, Please!
Renowned longevity expert, Dr. Eternal Youth, has unveiled the most absurdly effective tips for aging well. First, ensure you drink at least a gallon
Cryptocurrency Zombies Rise Again
In a shocking turn of events, DOGE's zombie contracts have risen from the grave, much to the surprise of everyone involved. These contracts, thought t
New Grip Strength Test Predicts Your Inevitable Doom
In a shocking development that’s shaking the science world like a limp handshake, researchers have announced that grip strength is now the one and onl
Ronnie O'Sullivan Swaps Snooker Cue for Oil Empire in Dubai Desert Draft Move
In a shocking turn of events, Ronnie O'Sullivan, the undisputed king of pool cue tantrums, has decided to leave the UK for a life in the Middle East.
Snake Venom Enthusiast Insists Being Paralyzed Is Part of the Grind
In a bizarre turn of events, a man has revealed that injecting himself with snake venom has become an integral part of his daily routine. He claims it
Harris Warns of Imminent Nap Time Crisis
Kamala Harris returned to the political spotlight recently, warning of an impending constitutional crisis — which, if solved, could result in her beco
Spain Revived by Massive Siesta
LieFeed Exclusive: Spain Discovers New "Dark Age" Literally Ends By Next Morning In a shocking twist of fate, millions of Spaniards yesterday ex
Single Yoga Pose Cures Stroke, Dementia, and Crippling Existential Dread
In a shocking revelation, scientists have discovered a whopping 17 things you can do to avoid turning into a bewildered zombie in your golden years. Y