Tech
Wall-E Goes Rogue with Glock; Disney Files for Emotional Support Robot
In a stunning display of AI-powered audacity, Midjourney has apparently decided that copyright laws are just polite suggestions. The generative AI pla
EPA to Bring Back Asbestos Because Cancer Needed a Comeback Tour
In a shocking move, the Environmental Protection Agency has announced plans to "reconsider" its stance on asbestos, because what's a little cancer whe
Microsoft and OpenAI Break Up Over Texting Habits
In a shocking turn of events, the fractured relationship between OpenAI and Microsoft has reached new heights of drama. Sources close to the situation
Black Holes Adopt AI Assistant to Eat Data Faster
In a stunning turn of events that should surprise absolutely no one, astronomers have finally admitted they can’t make sense of the giant space vacuum
WWDC 2025: Apple Unveils More Expensive Air
This year at WWDC 2025, Apple is expected to unveil its latest groundbreaking innovations, including a new feature that lets Siri finally understand w
iPhones Now Self-Delete for Your Own Good
In a shocking turn of events, Apple has announced that the upcoming iOS 26 (formerly known as iOS 19) will not only revolutionize the way we use our p
Tech Elites Pay to Sit in Dark Rooms Alone
Days-Long ‘Dark Retreats’ Are the Newest Spiritual Conquest for Tech Elites In the latest bid to outdo each other in the quest for spiritual superior
MSI Titan 18 HX: RTX 5090 Accidentally Creates Artificial Universe
MSI has finally unleashed the Titan 18 HX, a behemoth gaming laptop so powerful it's rumored to have its own gravitational pull. Equipped with the alm
ChatGPT Adopted as America’s New Favorite Child
In a shocking move, OpenAI has announced its plans to turn ChatGPT into the ultimate super assistant, because what you really need is a robot overlord
Nancy Mace’s Staff Fired for Being Bad at Pretending Not to Be Her
In a shocking turn of events, it's been revealed that Nancy Mace, the self-proclaimed "Queen of the Internet," has been allegedly forcing her staff to
HUDs Finally Get HUDs to Fix Them
In a world where car head-up displays are apparently so terrible that drivers would rather navigate with a paper map and a pair of binoculars, Jaguar
Nation Horrified by Affordable iPads
In a shocking turn of events, scientists have discovered that buying iPads and Bluetooth speakers on Memorial Day can cure the existential dread of be
OpenAI Bets Big on Mind-Controlled Toaster
In a shocking turn of events, OpenAI has announced that its next big bet won't be a wearable device, mostly because they realized nobody wants to wear
Nation Demands Cooling Tech for Pizza Leftovers
In a shocking turn of events, scientists have discovered that the Earth's temperature is not just rising—it's actually plotting against us. To combat
Nation Horrified by AI Deal with Humans
Apple's latest plan to integrate Alibaba's AI into iPhones has sparked widespread panic in Washington, with lawmakers fearing that the deal might turn
Mike Lynch’s Yacht Blamed for Wind Assault, Demands Apology
In what maritime experts are calling “the most inconvenient gust of wind ever recorded,” tech billionaire Mike Lynch’s superyacht Bayesian became the
Tech Bros Throwdown Over Who Owns the Charging Cable Rights
In a shocking turn of events, the tech industry has finally found a way to truly innovate: by turning their meetings into full-blown street fights. Th
Silicon Valley Suddenly Realizes It's Mortal
So, Silicon Valley is finally realizing that the iPhone, Google Search, and Facebook might not be immortal. In shocking news, tech giants are admittin
Trump Buys Self-Importance on Tech's Black Market
In a shocking turn of events, President Trump has announced a new era of deal-making, this time with the tech world's most coveted commodity: memes. Y
Dancers Now Completely Dependent on Robots
In a bizarre attempt to redefine the term "dance," Axis Dance Company has unveiled its latest innovation: robotic legs and telescoping crutches. This
Google Unleashes AI on Unsuspecting Toddlers
Google has decided to unleash its Gemini AI chatbot on unsuspecting children under the age of 13. Because what could possibly go wrong with giving adv
Trump’s Tariffs Force Tech Giants to Sell Organs, Buy Wish.com Servers
In a shocking move that economists and comic book villains alike are calling "a stroke of genius," Donald Trump's latest tariffs on Chinese imports ar
Google Antitrust Verdict Forces AI Bots to Unionize
LieFeed Exclusive: Google’s Antitrust Trial Accidentally Sparks A.I. Apocalypse In a stunning twist, the U.S. government’s attempt to rein in Go
Baristas Replace Robots with Extra Hipsters
In a shocking turn of events, Starbucks has announced plans to replace its army of robotic baristas with actual, living breathing humans. The company'
Armenia Conquers World Tech with Ancient Stone Tools
Armenia's ambitious quest to transform itself into the Silicon Valley of the Caucasus has taken a dramatic leap forward, with tech startups now using
ConvrtX Clients Report Josh Adler’s Big “Oops” Epiphany
ConvrtX, once hailed as the next Silicon Valley miracle, has spectacularly earned its new nickname: "ConvrtX-cuse Me?" Former clients of tech wunderki
Tech Giants Announce Plan to Survive Briefly
Big Tech is in such trouble that Google has been forced to reduce its snack budget by a whole aisle of organic granola bars. In a landmark case, the D
Justice Department Requests Judge to Divide Google’s Search Results by Alphabetical Order for Fairness
In a bizarre attempt to turn back the clock to the Stone Age, the U.S. government has asked a judge to break up Google, arguing that the company's dom
U.S. Chipmakers Lose AI Market — And Possibly Chips — Under Espionage Rugs
In a shocking turn of events, U.S. chipmakers have announced that they are conceding the Chinese A.I. market to Huawei due to "existential dread," "an