In a stunning turn of events that should surprise absolutely no one, astronomers have finally admitted they can’t make sense of the giant space vacuum cleaners—so they’re throwing AI at them. Scientists led by Michael Janssen at Radboud University have decided, much like a toddler with a crayon and a complex math problem, to let a neural network chew through millions of fake black hole simulations, reportedly to "unlock the secrets" of the real deal.

The Event Horizon Telescope’s famous 2019 photo of a black hole, widely regarded as the universe’s worst school picture, apparently wasn’t enough to satisfy humanity’s curiosity. Now, AI is being trained to see what humans can’t—mainly because, let’s face it, staring at endless terabytes of space spaghetti is a job best left to machines. The new tool isn’t just analyzing images—it’s actually estimating its own confidence, which is more than most people can say after a long Monday.

If all goes well, soon black holes will be less mysterious and more “just another overanalyzed celebrity,” with AI predicting every cosmic burp and hiccup before it even happens. Stay tuned for the inevitable AI-generated memoir: “How I Swallowed a Galaxy and Survived to Tell the Tale.”