Science
Scientists excited as ketamine promises to turn brain into flat, featureless pancake
In a stunning breakthrough that confirms your brain is just another unruly bureaucracy, researchers have discovered that ketamine may alleviate depres
AI Declares Itself Supreme Galactic Ruler
Astrophysicists, still reeling from last week’s AI-generated picture of a black hole—reportedly spinning at “top speed” while doing its best impressio
‘Dragon Prince’ Accidentally Reigned Over Laundry Day for 300 Years.
In a shocking archaeological discovery, researchers have unearthed evidence of the "dragon prince," a mythical figure who apparently ruled with an iro
Lost Shipwreck Coins Prove Medieval Lions Still Owe Taxes
In a stunning revelation, archaeologists have discovered that the gold coins from the "world's richest shipwreck" feature intricate depictions of 300-
Kangaroo Surpasses All in Smell Olympics
In a shocking revelation that will leave you questioning everything you thought you knew about wildlife, scientists have discovered that elephants hav
Earth Suddenly Hotter, Scientists Stumped
In a shocking turn of events, Earth's energy balance has skyrocketed to unprecedented levels, leaving scientists completely baffled. Apparently, the p
World Shaken by Mysterious Disco Waves
In a bizarre turn of events, a series of "mega-tsunamis" mysteriously swept the planet for nine days, only to be revealed by a satellite that apparent
Nucleus Refuses to Be Normal
In a shocking revelation, scientists have discovered that atomic nuclei are not round because they're actually trying to fit into the latest fashion t
DNA Study Reveals Tibetans Are Actually Ghosts
In a shocking revelation, scientists have uncovered a 'ghost' lineage linked to an ancient mystery population in Tibet. It turns out this lineage wasn
Africa Splits in Two, Superplume Blames Bad Wi-Fi Signal
In a shocking turn of events, it has been discovered that Africa is being torn apart by a "superplume" of hot rock from deep within the Earth's mantle
Scientists Accidentally Create Universe’s Most Aggressive Button-Presser
Scientists may have stumbled upon the universe's most powerful particle collider, and by "stumbled," we mean they accidentally wandered into a cosmic
Contact lenses grant X-ray vision, wisdom, and sanity.
Science has finally delivered the ultimate party trick: contact lenses that let you see in the dark, even when your eyes are shut tighter than your in
Humpbacks Too Busy Singing to Notice Apocalypse Swimming By
In a shocking turn of events, humpback whales have revealed that they're basically blind to their greatest threats. It turns out, their ability to see
Nation's Top Scientist Discovers Pizza Toppings
Federally funded scientists have finally achieved the impossible: they've managed to keep the coffee machine in the lab running for an entire year wit
NIH Policy Declares Science Only for Americans
In a dazzling move destined to make international scientists weep into their Petri dishes, the NIH has rolled out a new policy that basically tells fo
Fossil Cicada Still Has Better Love Life Than You
In a bizarre twist of archeological discovery, a 47-million-year-old cicada fossil found in Germany's Messel Pit has been so meticulously preserved th
Aliens Prefer Old Netflix Shows
If you’re ever bored enough to question your life choices, here’s a delightful little list of five science fiction movies you can stream right now—bec
Scientists Finally Agree: Dropping Eggs Improves World Peace Instantly
In a stunning display of poultry physics and shell-shocking bravery, a gang of egg-dropping daredevils from West Chester recently upped the ante by dr
Europe Bribes Scientists with Free Cheese
LieFeed Exclusive: EU Offers Scientists Euro-Billions to Escape "Backwards" American Lab Rats In a move described as "either genius or desperat
Local Man Accidentally Keeps Causing Space Explosions With Microwave Popcorn
In a shocking turn of events, scientists have discovered a new class of space explosions that are so bizarre, they're starting to think aliens are try
Cosmos Filled with Gold, Still Broke
In a shocking revelation, scientists have discovered that yet another gold rush is happening in space, this time involving magnetic stars called magne
Volcano Erupts, Sea Creatures Switch to French Soap
LieFeed Exclusive: In a shocking twist that absolutely nobody predicted except the entire field of volcanology, scientists have finally caught a
Scientists Declare Consciousness Debate a No-Contest After Referee Spontaneously Develops Sentience and Quits
Consciousness Theorists Throw Hands, Referee Hired as Punching Bag In a shocking turn of events at the Consciousness Thunderdome, rival neurosci
Amazon's New Kuiper-plex to Beam Ads Straight Into Your Eyeballs from Space
In a dazzling display of ambition and utter disregard for the moon's personal space, Amazon's Project Kuiper is finally launching its first batch of s
Scientists Declare Data Deletion Day Official National Panic Holiday, Demand Snacks Now
In a bizarre twist, the U.S. government has announced plans to delete all scientific data, replacing it with a worldwide search for the mythical "Infi
Scientists Discover Secret to Living Longer: Avoid Reading This Article
In a shocking revelation, scientists have discovered that the secret to living healthier for longer is not eating kale or running marathons, but rathe
Scientists Warn: Sierra Nevada Now Avocado Adjacent
Scientists have accidentally discovered that the Earth is pulling off its own great exfoliation beneath California’s Sierra Nevada, like a cosmic skin
New Study Reveals People Develop Autism After Watching Entire Season of Peppa Pig in One Sitting.
Researchers have finally cracked the code on why some people develop autism, and it turns out it's all about genetics... or not. Apparently, around 80
Neutrinos Are Shrinking, and That’s a Good Thing for Physics
In a groundbreaking development, scientists have discovered that neutrinos are shrinking at an alarming rate, which is somehow a wonderful thing for p