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Scientists excited as ketamine promises to turn brain into flat, featureless pancake

2025-06-20 Science | Written by Pixel Pete

Scientists excited as ketamine promises to turn brain into flat, featureless pancake

In a stunning breakthrough that confirms your brain is just another unruly bureaucracy, researchers have discovered that ketamine may alleviate depression by "flattening the brain’s hierarchies." Apparently, your brain’s usual top-down control freak routine—where high-level networks boss around the low-level ones—is the culprit behind all your sad vibes.

So how does ketamine work this magic? Well, by rewiring the brain’s communication channels, it lets previously isolated brain areas gossip freely like teenagers at a sleepover. For once, the sensible “higher-ups” aren’t micro-managing every thought, allowing your brain to loosen up and maybe, just maybe, stop being such a misery factory.

This revelation comes from a tiny, man-only study of 11 participants (because obviously, exclusion is the key to science), who got a single ketamine dose. Their brains were scanned before and after, showing the neural equivalent of a company fire drill where all cubicles suddenly start sharing snacks and memes instead of memos.

Sure, the study’s preliminary, based on fancy imaging tech that’s still finding its footing, but it’s a great excuse for more intravenous ketamine parties in sterile clinical settings. Because nothing says “mental health” like getting your brain hierarchies flattened while hooked up to tubes, right?


“In the latest breakthrough, scientists now claim they can flatten your brain with ketamine - because who needs wrinkles when you can have pancakes?” – Pixel Pete


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Originally inspired by this article.