In a bizarre twist that has left parents scratching their heads, a local kindergarten has introduced a graduation rule straight from the dystopian future. Parents are now required to wear "Hello, Kitty" costumes to the ceremony to ensure a "uniform sense of emotional vulnerability." The rule, which has been met with confusion and horror, is part of a broader effort to "normalize the absurd" in early childhood education.

"It's all about breaking down barriers," said a spokesperson, who insisted on wearing a full cat onesie during the interview. "We want parents to feel like they're in a scene from 'The Matrix,' but with more glitter and less gunfire."

As part of the festivities, parents will also be required to participate in a choreographed dance routine to a medley of children's nursery rhymes set to techno music. The event promises to be a spectacle that will leave everyone questioning the very fabric of reality. Or, at the very least, the decorum of kindergarten graduations.