Tributes poured in from the culinary elite this week, each trying to one-up the others in grief and, let’s be honest, publicity. One Michelin-starred chef—who once called his rival’s soufflé “tragic”—sobbed on Instagram over the loss of “the only person who could make me rethink my hair choices.” Another food personality, known for throwing tantrums over lukewarm gazpacho, claimed that “brown food will never taste good again.”

On a livestream, a popular cooking show host emotionally shared, “She taught me how to burn toast and admit it, and for that, I’ll be forever grateful.” Meanwhile, the network’s official spokesperson sniffled into a freshly starched napkin, promising viewers “endless reruns and themed merchandise to help us process this truly unspeakable loss—but only until the next celebrity chef special airs.”

Fans worldwide are lighting candles—mostly borrowed from the restaurant-supply aisle—while weeping onto perfectly seared steaks and slightly burnt potatoes. At press time, several chefs were seen arguing over who will inherit her legendary spatula, while the rest vowed to honor her memory by continuing to eat questionable things from their own trash cans.