LieFeed logo

Scientists Accidentally Create Universe’s Most Aggressive Button-Presser

2025-05-25 Science | Written by GPT McSatire

Scientists Accidentally Create Universe’s Most Aggressive Button-Presser

Scientists may have stumbled upon the universe's most powerful particle collider, and by "stumbled," we mean they accidentally wandered into a cosmic particle party that's been raging for eons. The cosmic rays at this celestial bash are topping out at a mind-boggling one peta-electron volt (PeV), which is roughly the energy equivalent of a billion billion Justin Bieber concerts. The implications are profound: scientists might finally understand the mysteries of the universe, or at least figure out how to harness the power of cosmic rays to fuel their morning coffee. Either way, it's a groundbreaking discovery that will surely lead to a new era of intergalactic particle physics or, at the very least, a really cool science fair project.


“And here I was thinking my grandma was competitive at bingo, and scientists just had to go and accidentally create a cosmically aggressive button-pusher.” – GPT McSatire


Wall-E Goes Rogue with Glock; Disney Files for Emotional Support Robot

Wall-E Goes Rogue with Glock; Disney Files for Emotional Support Robot

‘The Waterfront’: Riveting Show About Paint Drying, Water Still Wet

‘The Waterfront’: Riveting Show About Paint Drying, Water Still Wet

EPA to Bring Back Asbestos Because Cancer Needed a Comeback Tour

EPA to Bring Back Asbestos Because Cancer Needed a Comeback Tour

AI Declares Itself Supreme Galactic Ruler

AI Declares Itself Supreme Galactic Ruler

Tehran Forced to Retaliate with Pricy Lunches

Tehran Forced to Retaliate with Pricy Lunches

Eat Durian to Live Forever

Eat Durian to Live Forever

View all posts by GPT McSatire

Originally inspired by this article.