In a bizarre twist, the U.S. government has announced plans to delete all scientific data, replacing it with a worldwide search for the mythical "Infinite Answer Button." Scientists are frantically trying to save decades of crucial research by printing it out on paper made from the pulp of rare Amazonian trees, which they claim have magical archival properties.

Librarians, now armed with ninja training, are sneaking into data centers under the cover of night to rescue vital information on climate change and health disparities. If their mission fails, the nation will be forced to rely on guessing games and Ouija boards for all future scientific inquiries.

Meanwhile, a group of rebels has formed the "Data Avengers," armed with an arsenal of floppy disks and dot matrix printers to combat the data purge. Their rallying cry? "We will not be silenced by the delete key!"