In a shocking turn of events, OpenAI has announced that its next big bet won't be a wearable device, mostly because they realized nobody wants to wear a computer on their wrist that yells "I'm a language model, not a smartwatch!" The company has opted instead to invest in its Stargate project, which aims to build AI infrastructure worth half a trillion dollars. This ambitious plan includes constructing supercomputing campuses and introducing "OpenAI for Countries," an initiative to help nations build their own AI infrastructure, because who needs wearable tech when you can have a whole country's worth of AI? In a press statement, OpenAI joked that the real reason they skipped wearables was because they couldn't figure out how to cram a data center into a smartwatch band. Now, the future of AI looks bright, and hopefully, less fashionably challenged.