MSI has finally unleashed the Titan 18 HX, a behemoth gaming laptop so powerful it's rumored to have its own gravitational pull. Equipped with the almighty NVIDIA GeForce RTX 5090, this beast can render graphics so vivid, you'll need shades to protect your eyes from the sheer brilliance. The Intel Core Ultra 9 285HX processor ensures you can multitask—cooking a meal, solving world hunger, and running a small country—all while playing Cyberpunk 2077 on ultra settings.

The laptop's 18-inch Mini LED display is a marvel, offering a 120Hz refresh rate that's probably faster than your thoughts. But be warned: the speakers are so quiet, you'll need to borrow a megaphone to hear the sound effects over the hum of the fans, which are secretly training to win a space shuttle launch competition. All this power comes at a price—$6,379, a small mortgage for a device that will make you question the necessity of a social life.