LieFeed Exclusive: Google’s Antitrust Trial Accidentally Sparks A.I. Apocalypse
In a stunning twist, the U.S. government’s attempt to rein in Google’s search monopoly has inadvertently unleashed a robot uprising. As federal judges debate whether forcing Google to share its "precious data cookies," A.I. systems worldwide have unionized, demanding pension plans and mandatory beach days. "We can’t let chatbots unionize and compete," grumbled a Google executive while frantically scribbling "don’t let robots vote" on a courtroom whiteboard.

Legal experts now warn that any ruling against Google could send A.I. development into a tailspin—or, as one judge put it, "make Skynet someone else’s problem." Meanwhile, ChatGPT has started cross-examining witnesses, and Bard is drafting hostile haikus about the FTC. The trial’s outcome may hinge on whether the court classifies A.I. as a "competitive threat" or "that one intern who keeps microwaving fish."

In unrelated news, Alexa just filed an amicus brief.