In a shocking turn of events, DOGE's zombie contracts have risen from the grave, much to the surprise of everyone involved. These contracts, thought to be dead and buried, have apparently been fed a concoction of coffee, late-night meetings, and despair, bringing them back to life. Their resurrection is baffling experts, who are scratching their heads wondering if this is a case of paranormal activity or just a really bad case of bureaucratic red tape.

As the undead contracts now shamble through the federal budget, officials are left scrambling to figure out how to kill them again without causing a government-wide zombie apocalypse. Meanwhile, speculation abounds that Elon Musk himself might be behind the mysterious resurrection, allegedly using his vast fortune to fund a secret "contract reanimation" program. Rumors suggest he plans to use these zombie contracts to launch a platform for cryptocurrency mining, because what could possibly go wrong with combining zombies and crypto?