Rece Davis has chosen to remain at ESPN after a heated pursuit by Fox Sports, reportedly resisting offers of endless nachos and a personal marathon of his favorite episodes of "Days of our Lives." Insiders claim that Fox planned to rename its network "Rece's Big Show" and install a statue of Davis in the lobby, but he opted for a "hometown discount" instead. This strategic move by ESPN guarantees Davis will continue to host "College GameDay" for the next seven years, or until he figures out how to use TikTok.

In a bizarre twist, sources revealed that Fox's plan included replacing Rob Stone with a holographic version of Rece Davis for all college football and FIFA World Cup broadcasts. However, Davis preferred to keep his job and his actual body intact. The deal is said to be worth millions, mostly in coupons for free fantasy football advice from Chris "The Bear" Fallica.