In a shocking turn of events, scientists have discovered that a common food additive, found in everything from cake mixes to candy, might be secretly plotting against your gut health. This dastardly ingredient, known for its ability to make foods look appealing and taste not entirely terrible, has been accused of orchestrating a gut rebellion. The evidence? Well, it's mostly just a bunch of mice who ate a lot of it and then got a little cranky. But don't worry, experts assure us that humans are way more resilient than mice—except when it comes to resisting the allure of a good dessert.

The real concern here is that this additive might be causing your gut to send you passive-aggressive texts, like "You're eating too much junk" or "Can you please just have a salad?" But fear not, intestinal revolutionaries Simply switching to organic, gluten-free, vegan, keto-friendly, artisanal, small-batch, locally sourced everything will surely fix all your gut problems. Or, you know, just eat a yogurt a day to keep the gut police at bay.