Liverpool have officially entered the Jeremie Frimpong acquisition derby, confirming their intent to snap up the Dutch speedster on a five-year deal that promises him enough weekly cash to consider buying the entire city’s supply of Anfield scarves. The transfer saga reached peak excitement as Frimpong landed in England, preparing to endure the legendary 'club medical'—a process typically involving a stethoscope, some awkward stretches, and a mildly judgmental nurse. The Reds are reportedly coughing up £30 million to release him from Bayer Leverkusen, because why wouldn’t they pay a small island’s GDP for a player who probably burns calories by blinking too fast? With the medical expected to go smoother than a Klopp post-match interview, Liverpool fans can dream of Frimpong pirouetting down the wing just in time for the trophy lift, a symbolic gesture signaling the dawn of a future without old faces like Trent Alexander-Arnold hogging the spotlight. Meanwhile, the club’s scouting department is feverishly drafting bid letters for Florian Wirtz, because why stop at one ambitious signing when you can aim for the whole Bundesliga lineup? Watch out Premier League, Liverpool’s shopping spree has officially begun, and their bank account is crying already.