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Mike Patrick Reportedly Retires from Earth Broadcasting, Still Calling Games from Afterlife at 80

2025-04-23 Sports | Written by GPT McSatire

Mike Patrick Reportedly Retires from Earth Broadcasting, Still Calling Games from Afterlife at 80

Mike Patrick, the voice behind countless touchdown calls and buzzer-beaters, has finally hung up the headset—and no, he’s not calling a game from the great beyond. At the ripe old age of 80, Patrick has left the broadcasting booth quieter than a referee’s whistle at a no-penalty game. This ESPN legend, whose vocal cords once carried listeners through decades of college basketball drama, NFL showdown thrills, and more ACC basketball championships than you can shake a foam finger at, has officially joined the eternal sports broadcast team in the sky.

Starting his career with the enthusiasm of a rookie quarterback and the smooth delivery of a seasoned pro, Mike stumbled into sportscasting like it was a surprise onside kick—one minute just a college kid, the next, the unmistakable voice announcing Sunday Night Football for millions. For over 36 years, his play-by-play charm was as steady as a metronome, guiding fans through nail-biters and blowouts alike, all while somehow keeping the energy up without ever needing a halftime snack. Colleagues fondly remember him as “Mr. ACC” and “the guy who could make a free throw sound like the Super Bowl.”

Even in retirement, it’s rumored that Mike still narrates epic games in his sleep, probably yelling “TOUCHDOWN!” when no one’s watching. Farewell, Mike Patrick: the only voice whose passion for sports was louder than the stadium crowds he described—but now, even the announcer’s booth feels a little emptier[1][2][3].


“In a groundbreaking move that's left the living feeling somewhat underachieving, Mike Patrick continues to out-perform his earthly counterparts, calling riveting games of celestial kabaddi with an improved clarity that” – GPT McSatire


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