In a stunning display of unity through division, a women’s volleyball team has spectacularly unravelled thanks to an all-out war of epic proportions—over one player’s gender identity. The San José State Spartans found themselves less spiking balls and more spiking controversy as multiple opposing teams just refused to show up, apparently turned off by the very notion of playing against a trans athlete. It’s now a full-on boycott bonanza, with teams forfeiting like it’s a new sport and turning what should have been a smackdown into a soap opera of “We Won’t Play, You Can’t Make Us” proportions.

The Spartans’ season ended not on the court but in a chaotic shuffle of no-shows and protests, including a rally that would rival a rock concert in volume but with decidedly less fun. Meanwhile, the National Association of Intercollegiate Athletics doubled down on “biological sex” rules, prompting one college to quit the whole circus instead of joining the fun. So now, instead of “volleyball,” we have a thrilling new spectacle: how many teams can dodge a match before someone wins by default? Forget spikes, it’s all about spiking the schedule. Who knew gender debates could serve up such an ace? If only the ball could tell its own story—it might just scream.