Ivanka Trump has graced the national stage once again, this time dazzling audiences with her groundbreaking expertise in—hold onto your grocery baskets—produce. Yes, the former fashion mogul turned presidential offspring is now championing the noble cause of expanding access to fresh fruit and vegetables, because apparently the White House kitchen was a little short on kale during Dad’s second term. Speaking at the Heartland Summit in Bentonville, Ivanka unveiled her master plan to revolutionize America’s snack game one apple, carrot, and suspiciously glossy avocado at a time. Sources say she’s been tirelessly negotiating deals with rogue farmers, stealthily infiltrating farmers' markets, and possibly even dabbling in underground farmer coop knitting circles to boost nationwide veggie enthusiasm. No word yet on whether she’ll launch a Trump-branded line of organic turnips or gluten-free radishes, but the produce biz has definitely gained a new shining star. Critics remain baffled but intrigued: who knew the path from glam jewels to germination was just a salad bowl away? The real question now is whether Ivanka’s produce prowess will finally overshadow her past exploits in luxury hotels and diamond bling—or at least make carrots cool again.