Medicare has apparently decided to take the phrase "bandaging the problem" to a whole new level by hemorrhaging billions on luxury bandages and giving doctors a hefty kickback for each stylish wrap job. It turns out that the stylish bandages, complete with glitter and aromatherapy infusion, cost a whopping $100 per square inch. Meanwhile, doctors are raking it in by collecting a bonus for each patient they manage to swaddle in these designer bandages. The latest trend involves using these bandages as a form of medical couture, where patients are dressed in elaborate patterns to turn their wounds into Instagram-worthy artworks. Medicare officials argue that it's all worth it because nothing says "quality healthcare" like a well-dressed wound.