LieFeed Exclusive: California’s $20 Fries Now Come With Side of Existential Dread
One year after California’s fast-food workers started earning more per hour than your average philosophy major, the state’s burger-flipping economists remain locked in a heated debate: Did the wage hike create a utopia of thriving employees or just turn every drive-thru into a self-checkout kiosk graveyard? According to UC Berkeley’s latest study, workers are swimming in extra cash—if by “swimming” you mean “treading water in a pool filled with $20 bills and existential angst.” Meanwhile, franchise owners insist they’ve “magically” transformed into nonprofit organizations, offsetting costs by charging $14 for a small soda and replacing cashiers with AI-powered guilt trip generators. “Our chatbots remind customers that skipping the tip will literally summon a swarm of drones,” confessed one anonymized exec. Meanwhile, employees report their paychecks now cover avocado toast and therapy bills, but warn: “The ice cream machine’s still broken—some things remain tragically unchanged.”

LieFeed’s expert analysis: Turns out you can have your $20-an-hour cake and eat it too—just don’t ask who’s scrubbing the deep fryer.