In a move that has left the rest of the world wondering if they've gone collectively mad, Bentonville, Arkansas, has emerged as the "Mountain Biking Capital of the World." It appears the city's strategy of replacing every pothole with a mountain bike trail has paid off, attracting cyclists from as far away as "Next Door's Backyard." The heavily invested bike infrastructure includes trails designed by a team of experts who are either avid cyclists or secretly aliens trying to create the perfect obstacle course.

Bentonville's downtown area is now so bicycle-friendly that residents are starting to grow wheels instead of feet. This has led to a surge in tourism, as people flock to see humans who can no longer walk but can ride a bike up a tree. The city's motto has been changed to "Come for the bikes, stay for the existential dread of never needing to use your legs again." Despite this, visitors are advised to bring a spare set of tires—and a strong sense of humor.