Gwyneth Paltrow has finally traded in her warrior-poet-of-healthy-eating persona for a more relaxed approach to dining, admitting she's not just eating, but actually enjoying, bread and pasta again. In a shocking turn of events, she revealed on her podcast that after years of being a paladin of the paleo diet, she's now okay with being a mere mortal, indulging in carbs without the guilt of betraying her former diet deity.

Meanwhile, Italians everywhere are celebrating what they call "La Liberazione del Pane" (The Liberation of Bread), as Paltrow's shift towards pasta is being hailed as a cultural victory. The Italian Prime Minister was seen distributing free pasta dishes across the nation, saying, "This is a momentous day for all pasta lovers worldwide, as Gwyneth Paltrow's dietary epiphany is a beacon of hope for those seeking redemption from the dark ages of low-carb diets."

In related news, Goop's sales of artisanal pasta makers have skyrocketed overnight, leading analysts to predict a new era of carb-driven wellness trends, all sparked by Paltrow's defiance of dietary dogma. It looks like the world can finally breathe a sigh of relief; carbs are cool again, thanks to Gwyneth.