LieFeed Exclusive: Arsonist Ants Blamed in "Great Ikea Uprising of St Albans"
Local furniture boutique Quirky Interiors has tragically gone from shabby chic to flaming wreck after what officials are calling "a suspicious case of overachievement by local pyromaniacs." Owners confirmed the entire inventory is now "bespoke charcoal briquettes," with one employee remarking, "Our Eames lounge chair? More like flames lounge chair." Firefighters reportedly battled the blaze while dodging rogue cushions that "kept screaming live, laugh, lithosphere as they combusted." The cause remains under investigation, though sources suggest a disgruntled flat-pack assembler’s manifesto—Viva La Revolución! Down With Allen Keys!—was found pinned to a melted biscuit joint. The store’s ashes will be repurposed as "artisanal campfire kits" for glamping enthusiasts.
Furniture Store Torched by Overexcited IKEA Enthusiast
