In the Azores, the ultimate bucket list apparently includes "mildly warm puddles" and "luxurious mud baths" that promise to transform you into a sizzling human stew—spa day meets volcanic autoclave! Feeling adventurous? You can embark on an epic spelunking expedition through caves so narrow you’ll audition for the next season of Extreme Yoga, all while admiring moss that’s clearly the Azores’ answer to Instagram filters. Hiking trails offer breathtaking views of twin lakes that so perfectly mirror each other they might just be plotting some sort of aquatic sibling rivalry.

For the true thrill-seeker, there’s the chance to kayak in lagoons that are actually ancient volcanic craters—because nothing says relaxation like paddling in a fiery abyss’s leftovers. And if you get hungry afterward, taste local delicacies cooked by Mother Earth herself, literally steaming your meal from below, ensuring every bite is a hot topic.

Oh, and don’t forget the quaint tea plantations where you can sip on leaves grown on volcanic soil, because nothing pairs better with existential questioning than volcanic terroir. So pack your hiking boots, swimsuit, and a sense of irony; the Azores aren’t just islands, they're nature’s hot, steamy playground with a side of scenic bewilderment. Cheers to soaking in geothermal springs while contemplating why you didn’t just go to the beach like a normal person!