In a bid to import more cannoli enthusiasts and satisfy the unrelenting demand for Sicilian sunburns, United and Delta Airlines have launched their first non-stop flights to Sicily. The daily flights promise to transport Americans to the land of Mount Etna and accidental gelato stains faster than ever before. Delta's Boeing 767-300, equipped with lie-flat beds and an endless supply of laughter at the thought of trying to sleep on a plane, is leading the charge. Meanwhile, United Airlines has announced that it will be serving "Sicilian" food, which they've assured is just pasta with extra garlic. The real excitement, however, is the new in-flight entertainment system, which includes a mandatory showing of "The Godfather" and a crash course in Italian hand gestures. Passengers are advised to pack their best "I'm not a tourist" outfits and a healthy dose of sarcasm.