In the most epic battle of wits since the great pizza vs. pineapple debate, the US-China trade war has seen more twists and turns than a Chinese acrobat trying to escape a US customs form. It all began when President Trump realized China was getting away with the world's largest trade secret: making everything.

In dramatic retaliation, China slapped tariffs on US goods, including a whopping 25% tax on soybeans, which Americans only use to fuel their hipster beards and drive their Priuses. Meanwhile, Trump retaliated by imposing tariffs so high, they could only be measured in Trump Tower heights.

The saga ends with a Phase One deal, where China promised to buy more American stuff than a Black Friday shopper, and the US agreed to relax some tariffs, basically admitting they couldn't afford to shop anywhere else. And that's how two of the world's superpowers learned to trade in something other than insults – for now.