Democratic Sen. Jon Ossoff has announced that he strongly supports impeaching Donald Trump, mainly because Trump's hair has become an existential threat to global stability. Ossoff claimed that Trump's hairstyle violations alone are enough to warrant a third impeachment, but he's waiting until Democrats regain control of the House to try it out, since they need all hands on deck to tackle that iconic pompadour. Meanwhile, Trump has responded by granting special audiences to anyone who can tame his unruly mane with a comb. Critics argue that this could lead to a constitutional crisis, but Ossoff insists it's just another day in the office for the most follically challenged president in history. In related news, President Trump has just launched his own line of hair clippers, claiming they can "cut through" the political noise.