In a shocking turn of events, experts have discovered that eliminating artificial food dyes from the food system could lead to a catastrophic shortage of Instagram-worthy meals. Without the vibrant colors provided by these dyes, rainbow-colored breakfast cereals would resemble sad, grey oatmeal, and who wants to post that on social media? The implications are dire, with food influencers facing a bleak future devoid of colorful content. Meanwhile, researchers are racing to find natural alternatives, but so far, beets just aren't cutting it as a substitute for that perfect neon glow. As one desperate food blogger quipped, "No artificial dyes means no followers; it's a culinary apocalypse!" In related news, the petroleum industry is bracing for a possible decline in sales, as petroleum-derived dyes are no longer required to make our snacks look like a unicorn threw up on them.