In a shocking plot twist no one asked for, Brazil’s ex-president Jair Bolsonaro has apparently decided his body is now the ultimate reality TV drama, announcing a health saga that just won’t quit. After a marathon 12-hour intestinal surgery (his sixth related to the infamous 2018 stabbing—because why not collect scars like badges of honor?), Bolsonaro’s health has taken a nosedive, much to the dismay of his doctors and delight of soap opera fans worldwide. The DF Star Hospital in Brasilia confirms he’s battling elevated blood pressure, a grumpy liver, and requires even more tests—which sounds suspiciously like his body’s way of saying, "Enough drama for one lifetime, please."

Despite the medical staff’s pleas for quiet rest and zero visitors, Bolsonaro staged a performance worthy of a telenovela: a live YouTube cameo from his hospital bed (nasal tube and all), while his Liberal Party president popped in for a surprise ICU cameo. Oh, and as if this health cliffhanger wasn’t enough, he’s concurrently prepping his defense against coup charges, juggling potential prison time like a true political acrobat. No discharge date from the ICU has been announced, so it seems this real-life saga will keep running—because in Bolsonaro’s world, even health crises have sequels.