In a shocking turn of events, Donald Trump has announced plans to build an empire by converting the White House into a gigantic Imperial Star Destroyer. While struggling to keep promises as mundane as remembering where he put his keys, Trump is convinced this intergalactic expansion will be a breeze.

Aides close to the former president report that his dreams are filled with visions of a Trump-minted dollar as the universal currency and a wall not just around America, but around the moon to keep out "those pesky aliens." When questioned about the logistics, Trump insisted, "Believe me, no one knows more about space empires than I do. It will be huge, just huge."

When asked about the practicality of his imperial ambitions, Trump pointed to his impressive collection of Star Wars action figures, claiming, "These guys are pros; I've got this." Meanwhile, advisors are still trying to remind him that building a space empire involves more than just declaring, "May the Trump be with you."