In an unprecedented exercise of federal workforce magic, President Trump’s first 100 days have rewritten the laws of physics—turning bustling government offices into ghost towns faster than you can say “executive order.” Trump, with his new sidekick DOGE (because why not bring a meme dog into federal restructuring?), has launched a blitzkrieg of layoffs that would make even the most ruthless corporate CEOs blush. Federal agencies like NIOSH and the Department of Labor have lost more staff than a buffet loses diet-conscious customers, with safety and worker protection teams decimated like bad reality TV contestants.

By January 28, employees were offered a “deferred resignation” scheme that sounds suspiciously like an invitation to a long, paid government nap until September, leaving many to wonder if the Trump administration invented the world’s first “ghost employee” program. Meanwhile, the Office of Management and Budget tried to freeze all federal funding and shut down programs faster than you can refresh a Twitter feed, until a judge politely told them to put the brakes on.

All told, Trump’s 100-day layoff masterpiece looks less like governance and more like a federal game of musical chairs—except the music stopped and half the workers found themselves out cold on the floor. The government efficiency drive is so “efficient” that it’s got offices rethinking whether they even want to be offices anymore. Somehow, more than a thousand federal jobs evaporated in a blink, proving once again that with Trump at the helm, the phrase “job security” is now a cruel joke told in a very big empty building.