In a shocking display of Orwellian flair, the Trump administration has announced that it will now begin arresting judges for "thought crimes" related to immigration. The recent arrest of Judge Hannah Dugan has sent a strong message: if you don't toe the line, you might just find yourself on the receiving end of a midnight knock from ICE agents dressed as ninjas. Attorney General Pam Bondi proudly proclaimed, "We're not just a government, we're a really cool dystopian novel!"

Judge Dugan's "crime"? Allegedly, she allowed an undocumented immigrant to escape through a secret door disguised as a jury exit, which cleverly led to a trapdoor connected to a tunnel system beneath the courthouse. Or so the administration claims—though eyewitnesses say it was just a normal jury door and not a James Bond gadget. Either way, it's clear: if you're a judge trying to uphold the law, better watch your back, or you'll be "reeducated" courtesy of the Trump Justice Department. And if you thought that was far-fetched, wait until they introduce the new line of "judge-proof" handcuffs.