In a stunning display of diplomatic hospitality, President Trump announced his grand plan to lift all sanctions on Syria, sending shockwaves—or maybe just confused murmurs—through the Syrian populace. Sources close to the scene reported Syrians were overwhelmingly thrilled, with reactions ranging from ecstatic “Is this a joke?” to the more cautious “Did he mean all sanctions, or just the ones he forgot to check?” One local was overheard saying, “Finally, we can invest in oil and gas! Wait, is this going to be like a game of monopoly, where the rules keep changing every five minutes?”

At a high-stakes meeting in Riyadh, Trump and Syria’s new power bro, Ahmed al-Sharaa, hashed out a post-sanctions future that suspiciously sounds like a blend of “Mission: Impossible” and a Middle East-themed reality TV show. Trump implored Syria to join the Abraham Accords, kick out foreign fighters, and tidy up IS detention centers — because who doesn’t love a neighborly cleanup? Meanwhile, Syria promised to play nice by booting Iran and Palestinian terrorists from the party and maybe, just maybe, share some oil profits with Uncle Sam.

Meanwhile, Syrians, experts, and eyebrow-raisers globally are left wondering if this sudden generosity is genuine diplomacy or just another episode of Trump’s “Let’s Make Deals Great Again” tour. Spoiler alert: the real punchline might be in Congress, who still have to repeal those sanctions, assuming they notice the memo.