In a shocking turn of events, experts have revealed that the key to a successful summer is not actually finding a hidden portal to another dimension, but rather mastering the art of picnic recipes. For those planning to venture to the beach or, you know, the moon, the secret to an epic outdoor feast lies in gloriously simple dishes like the "Sand-Covered Sandwich" and the "Warm-Beer-and-Regret" salad.

New York Times sources claim that the most crucial ingredient in any picnic recipe is a healthy dose of denial about the impending doom of spilling everything on your new white shirt. Meanwhile, beachgoers are advised to pack a side of "Sunburn-Infused Coleslaw" for that extra kick of flavor and a souvenir sunburn to remember the day by. Despite the looming threat of sand in every orifice, the allure of a perfectly grilled, yet somehow still frozen, hot dog remains unbeatable.