"Horse De-Wormer Now Available at Your Local Walgreens, Yeehaw Edition"
In a bold move to merge veterinary and human healthcare, several states have decided the answer to "what’s in your medicine cabinet?" should be the same thing that’s in your horse’s feed. Ivermectin, the anti-parasitic darling of pandemic conspiracy theorists, can now be grabbed OTC beside the Tylenol and breath mints. Arkansas and Idaho lead the charge, insisting that while the FDA warns it won’t cure COVID, it will make you the life of the barnyard potluck.

Lawmakers, doubling as amateur pharmacists, assure the public that this is simply about “health autonomy” – a fancy term for “we Googled it once.” Meanwhile, doctors weep quietly into their stethoscopes as Snake Oil 2.0 hits shelves, now with 100% more legislative approval. Critics argue the next logical step is selling flea collars as fashion accessories. "It’s a miracle drug," said one lawmaker, petting a suspiciously itch-free horse. "Works great for tapeworms… and hypothetically for existential dread."

The CDC remains unmoved, reminding citizens that "just because you can eat livestock meds doesn’t mean you should." But hey, at least Arkansas’s new state motto – "Hold My Hay" – is really coming together.