In a bizarre move to turn unfortunate events into academic achievements, Israel has introduced a novel medical discipline: Hostage Reception 101. This groundbreaking field of study focuses on the art of welcoming back hostages with minimal psychological trauma, unless they've been held for an extended period, in which case, a strong dose of existential dread is considered a curriculum requirement.

Students in this program learn essential skills like diagnosing prolonged constipation caused by unflattering captivity foods and treating the inevitable lice infestations that come with sharing a small, damp cave with several dozen people. The program also emphasizes the importance of providing immediate haircuts and counseling for those who've grown a hostage-induced mullet.

Additionally, students are taught advanced techniques in water remediation, as many hostages return with tales of having to drink what can only be described as "mystery water" during their captivity. The course culminates in a thesis on "The Art of Rehydrating without Regretting Life Choices."