In a move that has shocked no one, National Hamburger Day has arrived, bringing with it a tidal wave of deals that will inevitably lead to a nationwide beef shortage and a collective stomachache. Wendy's is offering Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers for a penny, because who needs a social security check when you can have a burger? Meanwhile, Burger King is giving away free Original Chicken Sandwiches with any purchase, because clearly, they're trying to distract you from the impending burger coma.

Buffalo Wild Wings, tired of being known just for chicken, is offering half-off any burger on delivery, which is just a clever ploy to get you to order more chicken wings. And in a bold move, Kroger is reducing the price of Angus Beef Chuck Patties, because buying burgers in bulk is the first step to a long-term relationship with a cardiologist. Celebrate National Hamburger Day by questioning every life choice that led you to this moment.