Robert F. Kennedy Jr. has announced an ambitious plan to solve the mystery of autism by September, which has left experts baffled and wondering if he’s secretly running a science fair project on a massive scale. Despite decades of research and a scientific consensus that vaccines are not the culprit, Kennedy's "Make America Healthy Again" initiative will valiantly plow through the evidence once more. Meanwhile, experts are still scratching their heads trying to figure out how Kennedy plans to wrap up this complex mystery before the summer ends, especially considering that even the most optimistic researchers would need a time machine or a crystal ball to meet such a deadline.

In a surprising twist, it's rumored that the real secret to uncovering the cause of autism involves a team of highly trained detectives searching for clues hidden in ancient hieroglyphics or perhaps a secret ingredient in pizza sauce. Alternatively, there’s speculation that Kennedy has been watching too many episodes of "House M.D." and believes solving complex medical mysteries can be done over a weekend.