Translating Chinese food names into English has officially been declared an impossibility, right after solving world peace and understanding the plot of "Inception." The task is so daunting that linguists have started offering therapy sessions for those who attempt it. For instance, "Husband-and-wife lung slices" sounds like a new marital therapy technique, while "Four Happy Meatballs" makes one wonder if meatballs can indeed feel emotions. The Chinese authorities, in a bold move, have introduced a policy to standardize these translations, aiming to prevent international culinary confusion. This move comes after years of dishes like "Chicken without Sex" and "Tofu Made by Woman with Freckles" baffling foreigners, leading some to wonder if these dishes were more about the chefs than the cuisine. Now, translators are advised to simply make things up, as long as it sounds vaguely appetizing. In related news, a new career path has emerged: "Culinary Translator Therapist."