LieFeed Exclusive:
In a shocking turn of events, American democracy has devolved into a competitive screaming league as voters and lawmakers face off in town hall "Thunderdomes," armed with nothing but half-baked conspiracy theories and expired coupon energy. Eyewitnesses confirm participants now earn bonus points for creative name-calling (Rep. Nancy Mace recently clinched gold by accusing a man in daisy dukes of "leftist sorcery" mid-aisle at a Sephora). Meanwhile, the Congressional Etiquette Institute released a statement condemning the use of polite discourse as "unpatriotic." One lawmaker was reportedly caught bribing constituents with free tote bags emblazoned with "I survived the 2025 Shout-Apocalypse," while another attempted to settle a policy debate via thumb war. Political analysts attribute the chaos to a nationwide shortage of Xanax and an overabundance of unhinged confidence. When asked for comment, democracy sighed loudly and applied for vacation days through 2026.
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