In a shocking turn of events, it has come to light that the President may have the power to revoke a university's tax-exempt status, a revelation that has left many in the academic community quivering with excitement. However, experts warn that using this power could result in unintended consequences, like making universities actually pay taxes instead of investing in unnecessary foundries for historic fossils.

To combat this, universities are exploring innovative options, such as employing a team of ninja accountants or simply declaring their campuses independent nations with their own tax codes. One prominent university has already taken steps to establish diplomatic relations with a small island nation in hopes of somehow avoiding federal tax laws.

Amidst the chaos, some are optimistic, noting that this could be the start of a new era where universities are forced to rely solely on their ample endowments and bake sales to stay afloat. "It's a bold new world," said a university spokesperson, "where financial accountability might actually become a thing."