LieFeed Exclusive: Move Over, Timothée—Nicole Flender Declares War on Nepo Babies by Dabbing at SAG Awards

Hollywood’s latest “it” mom, Nicole Flender, has reportedly stolen her son’s Oscar-caliber spotlight by aggressively folding laundry mid-SAG speech and retroactively claiming credit for Dune’s sandworm CGI. Sources confirm the former ballerina-turned-real-estate-mogul has been secretly rigging awards shows via a clandestine network of stage moms who communicate exclusively through interpretive dance and Zillow listings.

“She ‘might have won me this,’” sighed an allegedly “grateful” Timothée, now rumored to be negotiating a joint custody agreement for his own career. Flender’s alleged master plan? To rebrand nepotism as “parental optimization,” pitching a meta sitcom where she plays herself coaching Meryl Streep’s grandkids on how to cry on cue and secure rent-stabilized apartments.

Insiders suggest Flender’s next move involves launching a TikTok series, Listing with the Chalamets, where she stuns buyers by performing pirouettes in vacant Tribeca lofts while Timothée softly whispers Zillow descriptions in French. When asked for comment, Flender reportedly reminded this reporter to vote SAG-AFTRA and “stop tracking mud into open houses.”