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In a shocking twist of international bewilderment, stranded migrants in Mexico have reportedly formed a support group called “The Unintentional Souvenir Club” after realizing they can’t return home—or even find decent tacos. “We came for opportunity, but the only thing multiplying here is our existential dread,” said one member, nibbling a mystery street-food item that may or may not be a relative of the churro.

Sources confirm local officials have offered “thoughts and prayers” and a free pamphlet titled So You’ve Accidentally Become a Permanent Tourist. Meanwhile, a border-crossing startup named OopsieGoBack promises to refund customers if they’re deported within 24 hours. “It’s like Uber, but with more bureaucracy and existential guilt,” said their CEO, adjusting his tie made of recycled visa applications.

In unrelated news, Taco Bell has launched a limited-edition Survival Nacho Box for those “stuck between dreams and deportation.” Nutritional info: 90% hope, 10% questionable cheese.