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Scientists, in what can only be called a groundbreaking leap in logic, have announced that the secret to controlling puberty is now hidden inside your kid’s lunchbox. That’s right: move over, puberty blockers—there’s a new sheriff in town, and his name is Granola Bar. According to the highly scientific report, “Ramen Noodles and the Onset of Menarche: A Hot Pot of Hormonal Chaos,” early periods are apparently a direct result of, and this is a direct quote from the summary, “too much broccoli, not enough Pixy Stix.” But don’t worry, concerned parents, because the solution is as simple as replacing your child’s carrot sticks with a steady diet of gummy vitamins and energy drinks, both of which have been thoroughly tested for side effects like “sudden adulthood” and “uncontrollable sarcasm.”

Experts are already warning that if current trends continue, the average age of first period could drop low enough to require maternity wards in preschools. The study urges parents to “stay vigilant” and always check their child’s lunch for hidden vegetables. Because nothing says “I care” like force-feeding your kid Skittles for science.